Christmas past.

"What!" exclaimed the Ghost, "would you so soon put out, with worldly hands, the light I give?"   —   A Christmas Carol


The Christmas cards have started to arrive, and not just the ones with a one-liner and stiff paper, but the ones with pictures and letters from friends far away describing their hearts this season. It dawned on me yesterday as I was reading through some of them that I've never loved receiving those letters more (and therefore I must send my own in return next year — a first!). The  overwhelming theme among them was gratitude and joy, perhaps the first spirit coming to rattle me from my Scrooge slumber. 

My dear friend Ruth Ann simply said, "we are grateful" and, "we are fortunate..." and I thought, of course! She's right! I too am fortunate, and have much to be grateful for.  And it's not that I've forgotten those things, but perhaps I have thought too much of Christmas in terms of everyone else (it is the season of giving, after all) that I have neglected to think of Christmas in terms of myself. (Ironic). So, in honor of her, and the gentle nudge I've felt in this direction, I will make my own short list of things that have brought me joy this past year. (OK, this is brief, so maybe just this past week). And hopefully next year I'll send it out with a picture and a letter to all of you whom I love. 

1. My kids may be fighting right now, but there are moments of every day when they stop pestering each other and instead, they hug and kiss and share and laugh together, and it is beautiful to behold. Mr. F makes me laugh. He bear hugs my legs and puts his dirty hands on my face when he needs to emphasize something, and he has started saying "YOU boke it!" to Z, about things he's smashed, which I find hilarious. Z sometimes picks up all of the toys, and brings me tissues and the phone when I need them, and she holds my hand and strokes my hair. She creates some kind of art everyday, and I can't wait to see how that talent in her grows. I am grateful for every day my family is alive and healthy and well. I do not take it for granted. 2. I have friends that are kind and inspiring and sincere, and I am grateful for all of you! It is hard to live away from family, but you make it better. 3. We bought a van, and it has a steering wheel heater. I never thought I'd need or use that thing as much as I do, but it gives me joy. 4. Yoga. Twisting, stretching, meditating, breathing, my muscles shaking from exhaustion, is purifying and empowering and mentally and physically strengthening. Also, I got to teach some classes of my own! Which is awesome, because about a year ago, I made a list of goals in my journal, and becoming a yoga instructor was one of them. Only then, I put a question mark at the end. No more! 5. Chocolate and all of the treats we have stacking up on our counter (although it is a double-edged sword). I am really enjoying it. 

That better be all for now. There are children standing on tables and chairs over there and someone is about to get hurt!